Gun Control

Last Thursday night, an elderly woman from Houston, Texas was arrested, jailed, and charged with manslaughter for shooting a man 6 times in the back as he was running away with her purse. The following Monday morning, the old lady was called in front of the arraignment judge, sworn in, and asked to explain her actions. The woman replied, "Your Honor, I was standing at the corner bus stop for about 15 minutes, waiting for the bus to take me home. I had just cashed my social security check at the bank earlier in the day. I was there alone, so I had my right hand on my pistol that my late husband gave me for protection, that was in my purse, that was hung over my left shoulder. All of a sudden I was being spun around hard to my left. As I caught my balance, I saw a man running away from me with my purse. I looked down at my right hand and I saw that my fingers were wrapped tightly around my pistol. The next thing I remember is saying out loud, "No way punk! You're not stealing my money." "I raised my right shaking hand, pointed my pistol at the man running away from me with my purse, and squeezed the trigger of my pistol 6 times!" When asked by the arraignment judge, "Why did you shoot the man 6 times?" The woman replied, under oath, "Because, when I pulled the trigger the 7th time, it only went click." The woman was acquitted of all charges. Don't mess with old folks ya hear.

Nude Geezers Calendar

Watch the video http://www.mefeedia.com/news/9199083

Darn! I'm out of quarters.

A designer yamaka by Louis Vuitton

Gray Knights MC member Paul Bradstreet in Singapore

Paul Bradstreet, one of the original Gray Knights MC members showing off his T-Shirt while visiting Singapore. Remember... there is no club to join and no dues. You don't even have to ride a motorcycle. If you're an old geezer like us with some gray hair and refuse to grow old gracefully, order one of my shirts today and join the club. Our motto - "Adventure Before Dementia." Makes a great gift for dad or grandpa or any old geezer in your life. Click Here To Order.

If you send me your picture wearing the shirt, I'll post it on the official Gray Knights MC website page. Click Here.

Good old White Out

Your favorite cigarette, a cold beer and a good friend. Doesn't get any better than this.

Enjoy life. It has an expiration date.

Foolproof way for old geezers to pick up chicks

I met a nice girl in the park the other evening. There was an instant spark between us and she immediately dropped to her knees and laid on the grass at my feet. As we lay there making love, I thought to myself... "These tasers are well worth the money."

Thanks Charlie.

Rare Film Footage

NO TRAFFIC LIGHTS AND NO RULES


This is a fascinating 105 year old film clip. A camera was mounted on the front of a street car 105 years ago (1906). Perhaps the oldest "home movie" that you will ever see! Look at the hats the ladies were wearing and the long dresses. Some of the cars had the steering wheels on the right side. I wonder when they standardized on the left? Sure were still a lot of horse drawn vehicles in use. Mass transit looked like the way to get around. Looks like everybody had the right of way. At the 33 second mark and immediately after an oncoming trolley clears the screen, a well dressed policeman walks across the street from left to right. Notice his right hand that he's carrying a truncheon (26 inch police baton) and although he appears walking his beat, he looks ready to use it. Imagine the police of today walking down the street carrying a 26 inch club in their hand...???


This film was "lost" for many years. It was the first 35mm film ever. It was taken by camera mounted on the front of a cable car. The number of automobiles is staggering for 1906. The clock tower at the end of Market Street at the Embarcadero wharf is still there. How many "street cleaning" people were employed to pick up after the horses? Talk about going green! This film was originally thought to be from 1905 until David Kiehn with the Niles Essanay Silent Film Museum figured out exactly when it was shot.


From New York trade papers announcing the film showing, to the wet streets from recent heavy rainfall and shadows indicating time of year and actual weather and conditions on historical record, even when the cars were registered (he even knows who owned them and when the plates were issued!). It was filmed only four days before the Great California Earthquake of April 18th 1906 and shipped by train to NY for processing.

A Cow, an Ant and an Old Fart

A Cow, an Ant and an Old Fart are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them. The Cow Says: "I give 20 liters of milk every day and that's why I am the greatest!!" The Ant says "I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own weight and that's why I am the greatest!!"

Well... It's your turn to say something...

Fast Food Advertising.

Cosmetic Surgery

Mildred and Harriet were having a quiet lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery in their golden years. Mildred said, “I need to be honest with you Harriet, I’m thinking about getting a boob job done.” Harriet responded, “Oh, that’s nothing Mildred. I’m thinking of having my asshole bleached!” “Whoa!” replied Mildred, "That's insane... I just can’t picture your husband George as a blonde!” http://www.thesilverbacks.blogspot.com

A crabby old man

Never stop dreaming, and never give up chasing those dreams.

Bumping up and down in my little red wagon...

Bumping up and down in my little red wagon. Bumping up and down in my little red wagon. Won't you be my darling! How many of you remember that song?

Grandpa loves birthday parties

Listen, do you want to know a secret.

Hunting lesson number 13... bears travel in pacts.

The Four Stages of Life

A true weiner dog

Behind the scenes of the Geezer Planet Calendar photo shoot.

The Insemination Man is coming

Mary, a blonde city girl, marries an older New Zealand dairy farmer. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, old farmer John says to Mary, 'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?'


So then the farmer leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. Mary takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him, 'This is the one... right here.' Terribly impressed by what he seemed to think just might be another ditzy old blonde gal, the man asks, 'Tell me lady, how did you know this is the cow to be bred?'


That's simple. By the nail over its stall', Mary explains very
confidently. Then the man asks, 'What's the nail for?' She turns and walks away, and with complete confidence, says,
'I guess it's to hang your trousers on.'

Thanks Paul for sending that one in. LMAO.

Necessity is the mother of invention

A day at the beach

Elvis is alive and well on Geezer Planet

Elvis at age 76 would propable be a spokesperson for Hip Replacement Surgery and singing Viva Viagra.

Albert Einstein

Not many people know that Albert Einstein also experimented with steroids.

Fun Fact: After his death in 1955, Einstein’s brain was removed – without permission from his family – by Thomas Stoltz Harvey, the Princeton Hospital pathologist who conducted the autopsy. Harvey took the brain home and kept it in a jar. He was later fired from his job for refusing to relinquish the organ. Many years later, Harvey, who by then had gotten permission from Hans Albert to study the old geezer's brain, sent slices of Einstein’s brain to various scientists throughout the world. One of these scientists was Marian Diamond of UC Berkeley, who discovered that compared to a normal person, Einstein had significantly more glial cells in the region of the brain that is responsible for synthesizing information.

In another study, Sandra Witelson of McMaster University found that Einstein’s brain lacked a particular "wrinkle" in the brain called the Sylvian fissure. Witelson speculated that this unusual anatomy allowed neurons in Einstein’s brain to communicate better with each other. Other studies had suggested that Einstein’s brain was denser, and that the inferior parietal lobe, which is often associated with mathematical ability, was larger than normal brains.

Rare photograph of Grant Wood's models

Artist Grant Wood used his talent for realism in his depictions of the American scene. The famous painting by him entitled "American Gothic" contains elements reflecting life in the Midwest and its people. The man and woman appear stern and strong, he with pitchfork in hand as she looks off to the right. Wood included a Gothic window behind the pair as a statement of faith and tradition. The work is painted with sharply contrasting tones and hard lighting techniques that give the painting an intense realism. American Gothic could be seen as the painters reaction against the sophisticated and cosmopolitan abstract art of his time.

Geezer Planet Discovery

Seniors gone bad

This was sent to me by Dan Johnston - Producer, Navelgazing. I have just produced this comedy sketch for the BBC. It is about some bored retirees who find themselves behaving very badly. I thought it might be of interest to you.

Spotted SpongeBob leaving for work today.

Girl Watching / Bird Watching