Left the garage door open

The old boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open.. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house sir, did you close your garage door?' The old boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question. As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'


He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?' She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini van with two flat tires..


Editors Note: I would have said stretch limo. Happy New Year Everyone.

The marvels of modern surgical techniques

No one under 50 admitted without a parent or guardian

Read more about Over The Hill Park - Click Here.

Young girls just love old geezers... with money that is.

Bad Grandpa

Let the buyer beware.

Hey... I resemble that remark.

Merry Christmas Everyone.

Just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday Season. Do you know what Adam said on the day before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve!    Yule be good now.

You're Never To Old. Merry Christmas

I'd like a really good bowel movement, some new choppers, a new hearing aid...

Senior Wisdom

The Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to the Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote population. It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true method of shooting or trapping the predators, the Sierra Club had a "more humane" solution to this issue. What they were proposing was for the animals to be captured alive. The males would then be castrated and let loose again. This was ACTUALLY proposed by the Sierra Club and by the U.S. Forest Service. All of the ranchers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of minutes.


Finally an old rancher wearing a big cowboy hat in the back of the conference room stood up, tipped his hat back and said; "Son, I don't think you understand our problem here... these coyotes ain't fuckin' our sheep... they're eatin' 'em!"


The meeting never really got back to order.

Hope it's available in extra strength?

Ouch!

This Chinese woman is 93-years-old, lives in Changzhi, a city in Shanxi, China. Some old folks can’t even walk at this age but she is able to do leg splits. According to the old woman, she stays healthy by exercising regularly every morning. So, what are you waiting for?

I guess it has to grow on you...

Grandma Got Molested At The Airport

I think I'm OK?

Editors Note: This is not really funny, but it's funny how the two different publishers report on the same story. Good luck Michael.

Always read the fine print

Yahooo!!... ride 'em grandma.

Toys might be a little late this year kids



Santa Claus Larry Durian is taken to a private TSA room after passing through metal detectors at the Akron Canton Airport Wednesday, Dec. 8, 2010 in Green, Ohio. Santa planned to spend seven hours at the airport greeting passengers for their customer appreciation day. He emerged from the room a short time later.

Maybe some of you old geezers will remember seeing this

A 4-Wheel Drive All Terrain Walker... Awesome.

You know you spend too much time in the park when...

No rush

Fishmore & Dolittle

Just plugging my best selling bumper sticker. Get yours from my Geezershop.

Never bite the hand that feeds you.

Seniors not welcomed here

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...

The Village People are now performing on Geezer Planet

Prescription for a smile

Cari Brackett, right, an associate clinical professor in OSU's College of Pharmacy, spends time with Dorothea Clendenen at Active Day, an adult day-care center. Brackett has organized Prescription for a Smile, in which professors and students clown around with residents of nursing homes and senior daycare centers. The premise is simple: Use humor, laughter and even silliness to put patients at ease.

The Extreme Senior Citizen Games

Ahhh, life in the slow lane.

Only used on Sundays

It's the thought that counts...

Am I tooo cute or what?

The latest addition to my bumper sticker series. Want to purchase this bumper sticker click here.

You think these glasses make my face look too small?

Grannie knows best...

A little TSA compilation

I think I'd need a cigarette after that.

Senior Chat with Arthur Ritis #5

I was at the doctor's office yesterday and he said to me "You are in great shape for your age Arthur, but tell me, do you still have intercourse?" "Just a minute doc, I'll have to ask my wife," I went out to the reception room and said: "Honey do we still have Intercourse?" she said "If I told you once, I told you a thousand times... We have Blue Cross!

What's the secret to our long marriage? Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. Every now and then we also have a "Getaway Weekend." She'll be back first thing Monday morning.

I love my grandson Mikey but the little tike can act up every now and then. I found the best way to discipline him is to just take the child for a little car ride in the country and talk. That usually calms him down and he usually stops misbehaving after that. Picture attached.

Where's my stuff?