Fishmore & Dolittle

My best selling bumper sticker is now available as a T-Shirt. Order yours today from my GeezerShop - CLICK HERE or visit: http://www.cafepress.com/geezershop.483137497.

Moose Hunting

Paddy & Mick, two retired old geezers, flew to Canada for an adventure. They chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies for a week of hunting moose. They managed to bag a total of 6. Loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose. The two old timers objected strongly. "Last year we shot 6. The pilot let us take them all, and he had exactly the same plane as yours." Reluctantly the pilot gave in and all 6 were loaded. The plane took off. However while attempting to cross some mountains, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down. Miraculously, surrounded by moose bodies, Paddy and Mick survived the crash. Climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asked Mick," Any idea where we are?" Mick replied, " I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."

OMG! It's really him. It's Mr. Potato Head.

My Gray Knights Motorcycle Club T-Shirt is now on sale

My Gray Knights Motorcycle Club is a fictitious organization for fifty plus old geezers who want to look totally Cool. The Club's motto is "Adventure Before Dementia." No one will ever know it's not a real bad-ass organization or you're not a real member... your secret is safe with me. Everyone who buys a T-Shirt and sends me their picture wearing it, will get posted on my website. Be the first... get your shirt now. Click Here To Order.

Hey look... we got the same whiskers.

Me and You is Friends

Give this little sticker to your favorite sweetie, your parents... To buy now, click here.

Chef Gordon Ramsay spots some naked old guy

Mama's Bible

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers, and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city. The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama." The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house." The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her." The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it." The other brothers were impressed. After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes. She wrote: Milton, the house you built is so huge; I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway." "Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks." "Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead; I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same." "Dearest Bob, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you. Luv Ya, Mama."

Grandma's new sewing machine

Even at 102, my Grandma is confident she will live a long life. Recently, I bought her a brand new (although off-brand) sewing machine. She asked me, "Where is the warranty?" I replied, "What do you care Grandma... It has a 25-year warranty!" My Grandma replied, "How do I know the company will be in business that long?"

Old lady Halloween costume

Some old flower children.

I love the matching beards.

We could use him here in New York

There really should be Fashion Police

Yup... that is probably one real bad ass alright. A good candidate for People of Walmart website, one of my favorites.

Side Effects

I personally never read the side effects or those info sheets the pharmacy includes. Some times they are worst than the symptoms themselves. Involuntary anal discharge is one of my personal favorites.

Coming soon to a city near you.

You old geezers... don't try this at home.

Just a couple of Walmart shoppers

You're doing it all wrong... watch me.

Been there, done that.

With age comes wisdom

A young guy with a great built found himself unemployed... But he had to pay the rent, buy food and pay bills... so he decided to put a sign outside the door of his apartment which read: IN BED $100, ON THE COUCH $50, ON THE FLOOR $25. Not long after that, an old woman walks by his door. She stops to read the sign, gets all excited and then rushes back home. She breaks open her piggy bank and takes the little savings she had. With the money in her hand she heads for the young man's apartment. Knock knock...



The young man opens the door and the old lady hands him the money. He gives her a passionate kiss and after counting the money tells her: "It's $100, so you want to do it in bed?" "Don't be so naive young man" she replied, "I wanna do it 4 times on the floor!!"

Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip 63 years later.

John Lennon - Happy 70th Birthday

A very rare photograph of Tweety Bird today. Tweety was born in 1942.

Danny DeVito - The Old Squeeze Play

Easy Rider

They are everywhere now. The closet is empty.

Comparison Ford

I wonder where Charlie went off to?