Dirty Old Man

Can't Take Grandpa Anywhere

Nice Party Grandpa Right!!

SUNSET DAZE The Golden Years Just Got More Golden

Premieres Tomorrow, April 28, 2010

Siesta Time

Edith Has Parkinson's

88 year old Vern and 82 year old Mildred became very close to each other at their nursing home. Although they didn’t have sex, every night Mildred would go to Vern’s room and they would lie in bed and watch TV while she held his privates. One night Mildred went into Vern’s room and found another resident of the nursing home, Edith, in Vern’s bed, watching TV and holding his privates. "Vern," Mildred cried, "Is she prettier than me?" Vern replied, "No." "Does she have a better personality?" Vern replied, "No." "Then please tell me what Edith has that I don’t?" "Parkinson's," Vern replied.

Old Adults Not Allowed

The New Boots

An elderly couple Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas. Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, 'Notice anything different about me?' Margaret looked him over. 'Nope.' Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, 'Notice anything different NOW?' Margaret looked up and exclaimed, 'Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!' Furious, Bert yelled, 'AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?' 'Nope', she replied.. 'IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!' Without changing her expression, Margaret replied, 'Shoulda bought a hat, Bert.

The War is Over

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said: "Father... During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic." The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that." "There is more to tell, Father.. She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays." The priest said, "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven." "Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question." "And what is that?" asked the priest. "Should I tell her the war is over?"

Come Fly Away

A MUST SEE FOR ALL YOU OLD GEEZERS - COME FLY AWAY is the new Broadway musical that brings together the legendary music of FRANK SINATRA and the creative vision of Tony Award winner TWYLA THARP (Movin'Out). This one-of-a-kind experience combines the seductive vocals of "Ol' Blue Eyes" with the sizzling sound of a live 19-piece big band and the visceral thrill of Tharp's choreography. As fifteen of the worlds best dancers tell the story of four couples falling in and out of love at a swinging nightclub on a star-lit evening, you will be transported to a world of sparkling romance and astonishing beauty. COME FLY AWAY features a score of beloved Sinatra classics including "Summer Wind," "Fly Me to the Moon," "My Way," "Theme from New York, New York" and "I've Got the World on a String." Official Website.