My doctor asked me "Is there anything you'd like to discuss?" "Well" I said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy." "That's a big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?" "Yes, we took a vote... and they're in favor 15 to 2."

Joe The Barber

Every Wednesday in Hartford, Conn., under the shade of an old oak tree, homeless people can get a free haircut. Well, not exactly free: 82-year-old retired barber Anthony Cymerys asks for a hug in return. Inspired 25 years ago by a church sermon about the homeless, Cymerys decided he wanted to help them not look like they had no home. His clients — some homeless, some just in a tough patch — line up on park benches and wait their turn for a haircut and a hug. "I love these guys," Cymerys said about them. He paused and turned to his client in the chair, "You know I love you, right?"

An old man in Mississippi is sitting on his front porch watching the sun rise. He sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. "Hey boy, whatcha got there?" "Roll of chicken wire." "What you gonna do with that?" ... "Gonna catch some chickens." "You damn fool! You can't catch chickens with chicken wire!" The boy just laughs and keeps walking. That evening at sunset, the boy comes walking by, dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it. The next morning, the old man is out watching the sun rise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something in his hand. "Hey boy, whatcha got there?" "Roll of duct tape." "What you gonna do with that?" "Gonna catch me some ducks." "You damn fool! You can't catch ducks with duct tape!" The boy just laughs and keeps walking.That night around sunset the boy walks by, trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duct tape with about 35 ducks caught in it. The next morning, the old man sees the boy walking by carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end. ''Hey boy, whatcha got there?" "It's a pussy willow." "Wait up kid... I'll get my hat."

Fast Forward....

More Geezers Gone Wild

The O'Malley Twins

An old geezer stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"... "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of Course," replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks: "Wh...ere in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '59." "This is unbelievable!" the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '59, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The old O'Malley twins are drunk again."

I need one of these...

Geezers in Office. Not in chronological order.